Caffeine Jesus is my dark journey into diet coke and 5 hour energy shot addiction as illustrated by stick figures. Famous Badgers is about Badgers in Famous works. Like this:

The world (my brain) is too full of dull badgers, dead badgers, Ullmen. Some badgers never even get into your house they are so busy howling at the windows. Or as Minna would say, you pick your badgers—and you do, whether you subscribe to that view or not, you really do. I can’t feel guilty about every last badger. Ullmen? Never met the badger. Just like Bailey. They were just badgers I never happened to meet. To the both of them and you I say: Put a badger in your shoe, and beat it. Make like a badger, and leave.
Motherless Badger, by Jonathan Lethem

Latest advice from my tumblog Hometown Wisdom

He’s just so, aw shucks, scrappy!

Yaya I can monitor sound again properly!

green pee…

annoy’n indie film w/ teriible titling & WTF happened 2 Jeff Fahey

I know the last two places I reviewed served the water in one big bottle and I have problems with this that I’d like to expound upon so you may have a little insight as to why it bothers me.  I have two main problems with this: the water bottle takes up real estate on the table and it shirks the responsibility of the waiter off to the customer.

My problem with the water bottle taking up real estate is relative to the size, shape of the bottle and to the size, shape of the table.  On a small table, that bottle is taking up space that could be used for something else.  On a bar, it just looks awkward.  I know what you’re going to say, “But that’s how the French and Italians do it.”  Yes, it is in some of their restaurants, but this is neither Paris nor Rome.  Also, it’s not high quality water that I’ve specifically ordered that we’re talking about here; it’s regular cold tap water put into a clear bottle.

My problem with the shirking of responsibility is a bit of bigger deal than the real estate issue.  Your job as a waiter/waitress/bartender is to serve me, the customer.  When a water bottle is placed on the table/bar it says to me, “I can’t be bothered to watch over your beverages like I’m supposed to do so why don’t you take care of it yourself.”  Beverage service is a large part of the job.  I shouldn’t have to stop my meal at any moment do anything other than talk, drink, and cut my food.  Now, what happens if I run out of the water that was stored in the water bottle? You don’t notice, because you haven’t been paying attention to my beverage needs.  Imagine walking into court after paying for a lawyer and the lawyer just slaps a stack of papers down on the table, then sits down in his chair for the remainder of the case while he says you have to defend yourself with the papers he’s prepared; you’d be livid, or probably beyond livid; I feel the same way about the water bottle.  What if I’m drunk or just clumsy and I knock over the bottle? You, the waiter, have to come over and clean it up, I feel embarrassed, and we’ve both waste more time that could be spent doing something more enjoyable.

It’s just not worth it.  Give me a glass of water, refill it when it looks low, and be a good waiter/waitress/bartender and I’ll tip you well.  That’s all there is to it and it’s not hard.