green pee…

Sheb: every
thing
came
back
NORMAL
(blood tests)
no sherpes
me: jeezus sheb
u are the king of hypochondria
Sheb: i AM
me: le munchausen-royale
Sheb: munch on this housing
me: el mondo sicko
Sheb: i gave myself polka dot cock
God really did a number on me
me: this is number two after the time i spent 6 hours in the emergency room from acid reflux that i thought was a heart attack
Sheb: hahahaha
yeah, that’s pretty incredible
anyways, i’m wrapping this thing in mesh steel from now on
me: you should put it in a shark cage
Sheb: i should put it in a bear trap
wait…

[ FROM BLACKBERRY MESSENGER]
Benjy: What up what up
Ashleigh: In chicago
Benjy: Dope
Benjy: Let’s together when you get back
………………………………
Benjy: What’s the deal
Ashleigh: What deal?
Ashleigh: um I’m walking 10 mi along beach…?
………………………………
Benjy: What’s good?
Ashleigh: huh?
Ashleigh: pizza is good, so is swimming (but not after eating pizza, that’s no good)
………………………………
Benjy: What’s good with you?
Ashleigh: Um everything…
……………………………..

.
[ FROM GCHAT]
@bryant237: what is good
me: what are you a rapper now?
………………………………

@carllite: ahah check out this site: www.lets-panic.com
me: if this were true i’d have been pregnant for the last 20 years, 20 year old fetus in my pint-sized womb
woah wait, i love this site.
sometimes i think i’m pregnant eventho i haven’t gone ‘biblical’ for many revolutions ’round the sun
i call it “irrational latent pregnancy fear”
once i missed my “lady-time” for a year but had not “known anyone” in like several years, so I was convinced i was pregnant.
turns out i had just been like 7 pounds underweight.
…no stillborn petrified fetus in this womb (which happened once on like law & order or XFiles or something)
“hypochondria!!!!: the fertility issue” available at your local newstand August 21st!
@carllite: hahahaha