*Intended sarcasm. But seriously now, we all secretly knew that unless a musician was moderately famous, online sales garnering even a decent chunk of change would be nearly impossible – any artist in any medium can tell you the promise of the new ‘internet economy’ is essentially the same old chestnut: undiscovered, unemployed. I mean sure, we’ve heard of the Indiegogo and Kickstarter success stories that raise 100k when they set out to raise 10k, but if you travel in circles of ‘un-influence’ and have equally broke friends and family–raising enough to buy a pack of Mini-DV tapes is a miracle in and of itself.

OK, people LOVE to get their music online, and 10 years post-napster they’re more willing to pay for it. So yes, there is a demand to download music. Alas, there is not a demand to download your music if no one knows who you are. Unless you and keyboard cat make a viral music video–which will cause a brief spike in your downloads at best, viral does not necessarily lead to a sustainable career**–expect to peddle your music and build your fan base the old fashioned way: trolling open mics, booking bar gigs, and minstreling about college towns until that single, almost mythical-connected person forwards her iphone video of you crooning ’til the cows come home to that one industry dynamo who can make your track the intro (or at least background music in one episode) of the latest repackaged pilot of “Dawson’s Creek” known by some other new-fangled name (which smells equally as unsweet).

My favorite new thing ever, InformationIsBeautiful.Net, did the math and came to the conclusion all of us knew in the nitty, gritty parts of our soul. We just didn’t know how bad it actualy iwas, because WOW, look at the figures below. (thanks to Ben Williams for providing this amazing link).

HOW MUCH DO MUSIC ARTISTS EARN ONLINE?
APRIL 13, 2010
Recently, the UK government passed The Digital Economy Act which included many, perhaps draconian, measures to combat online music piracy (including withdrawing broadband access for persistent pirates).

Much was proclaimed about how these new laws would protect musicians and artists revenue and livelihoods.

But how much money do musicians really get paid in this new digital marketplace?

[image/ analysis by InformationIsBeautiful.Net]

** I think the “Canada On Strike” episode of South Park, featuring a room full of Internet Memes hoping to get paid is best represented by this. Rebecca Black is an exception, for the meantime, as well is Justin Bieber (who started out on youtube). For every Rebecca Black there are 500,000 youtubers covering any song and every song, hoping to get discovered. And many are more talented than the people that actually sing the songs they cover.

How much does this guy make you feel like your own motion graphics and video editing reel is not so shabby? Thank you Martin Gamal, I feel like I’m on top of the world right now! Thanx Matt for this GEM of a reel!

My boyfriend hooked me on the RadioLab podcast. It’s like “This American Life” if “This American Life” was faster paced, had more science, better sound effects and didn’t make you want to weep in your closet at some point. RadioLab – no xanax required.

MY TOP 3 FAVORITE RADIOLABS:

Deception

This Is Your Brain On Love

Vanishing Words

I would just like to add that radio lab is so powerfully engaging, all thought-consuming – i work out to its podcasts at the gym and 45 minutes go by like 5. Also, I started doing what I call “Radiolab Yoga” recently, where i play the podcast on my speakers while performing my Hatha Yoga DVD on silent–imagine 2 hours of intense yoga (and I HATE yoga like it’s my job to HATE yoga) going by like a breeze, and wanting to do more just to slisten to several more hours of Radiolab. It’s that good.

“T3kn0l0gy makes me wanna dance now” is the motto of self-proclaimed “nerd girl & tech guru,” Tina T3k. A false internet prophet, Tina is my new alter ego that answers social media and technology related questions very poorly thru VYou on her Tumblog, TinaT3k.Tumblr. I created her as a caricature of two internet personality archetypes that annoy me to no end, mainly because of their recent explosion and lack of authenticity and inherent internet-affirmation neediness: the “nerd girl” that’s smart (=wear’s glasses, has an iphone) but also hot (=wears tight ironic, tech tee that accentuates boobs), 2. the “social media guru” that’s an expert on [insert social media network] simply because they say they are on aforementioned social media network, but really just retweets anything that falls out of Guy Kawasaki’s twitter-butt or steve jobs’ mock-turtlekneck.

Here is her official music video, “T3kn0l0gy Makes Me Wanna Dance Now,” for the VH1 Dance Cam Slam contest. Now vote for me here, I need to feel internet-special (because i am a hypocrite). Ask Tina questions and read her reviews of obsolete technology onTinaT3k.Tumblr

My twitter friend Penny Goring (@triplecherry) and I have never met. She lives in London, I live in New York. I am not even sure when or how we started following each other. About a year ago, I was scanning my friends’ tweets and happened upon a link she had posted to a story she had written, “Temporary Passport.” I fell in love with her piece (and writing) instantly, and vowed to animate it. A year later, we finished the animation. Our collaboration on it was entirely through twitter and facebook messages, something I found entirely appropriate because that is the space in which we became acquainted with each other.

When people tell me, “social media is just a bunch of people posting pictures of their cats and desperately crying out LOOK AT ME PLEEEZ,” I point to this as an instance where social media can inspire and bring people together… and then i get out my Blackberry to upload a photo of my cat to facebook and beg my twitter followers to tell my I’m pretty.

Temporary Passport was first screened first at the Chaosmos 2010 Exhibition (Independents Liverpool Biennial 2010): View Two Gallery, 23 Mathew Street, Liverpool, Merseyside, UK. It was also shown at The Oxford in Kentish Town on Beatnic Night: an article about the event on The Spectator’s Arts Blog.

Penny reading Temporary Passport live here. Penny’s writing here.

…

I am currently remixing the full 90 minutes of John Carpenter’s “They Live” – but with cats instead of aliens. Why? Why not. Hope to screen the full remix somewhere in the future. Find out more about the art of “Remix” on LofiLounge.org

So I made this out of Brinks Home Security videos. Yeah.

Disaster Shrug Lady Strikes Again.

She is Disaster Girl’s menacing Grandma. Photographic evidence of past catastrophes she has caused:

Exxon Valdez.

Hurricane Andrew.

Hudson River Plane Crash.

Northeast Winter Snow Storms.

Jessica Simpson Weight Gain.

The Hindenburg.

House Fire.

Lebanon-Israel Conflict 2006.

Joan Van Ark’s Face.

The Titanic.

… I say second only because I will always have a special place in my heart for spammer scam messages from exiled Ethiopian princes. Although this is pretty freaking incredible…

There are so many amazing things going on with the cover art, titles and taglines…  like… I can’t even…

Tagline: How do you convince a woman to live life by different rules?

Answer: Rohypnol & Ryan Seacrest’s hair.

Tagline: Can the wrong guy ever turn into Mr. Right?

Answer: Who cares as long as he’s wet and angsty.

Tagline is missing because the title, Speed Dating, single-handedly maxed out the terribleness quota for cover copy.

Cameo by race car driver Carl Edwards – a cameo in a book…

Tagline: Can he convince her he’s a changed man?

Answer: Yes. That smart clipboard and far-off gaze scream I’m off the hookers and booze, baby.

Tagline: Trouble never looked so good.

Trouble looks like the kind of guy that won’t let you eat in his car.

Revised Tagline: They’ve invested too much [in sunglasses and spray tan] to give up now.

Tagline: She was born to race… deal with it!

The title, Speed Bumps, is actually referring to her coke habit.

Tagline: They would defy everyone they loved… for each other.

And now they are both serving back to back life sentences in Indiana.

And it took two authors to madlib-in the required race car references.

Whose next in future business cross-promotional pairings with Harlequin Books? Peterbilt. Jon Deare.

A quick side by side comparison of comments made on the video “Helping Johnny Remember” on both Vimeo & Youtube.

CONCLUSION —> It’s more socially acceptable to say “f*ck” a lot on Youtube.

A message from Ben Williams, performed by Ben Williams and approved by Ben Williams.

Also available on youtube here.

This weekend, LoFiLounge.Org is hosting a full day celebration and exploration of “Remixed Media”-the art of re-approppriation.

Panelists across the arts will be contributing to “the ongoing conversation about remixing, mashups, copyright law, fair use, and the freedom of artists to access their culture in order to add to and build upon it.” Also, Moby will be speaking! Dance Party! And a film competition and screening will commence at 8pm-and I’m very excited that my demon baby video (featured on G4TV’s Attack of the Show, BoingBoing.net & NYmag’s Vulture blog) will be part of it!

Festival Schedule is here.

Write up in TimeOut New York’s “Best of Fests” is here.

At 1 min and 29s! Watch the episode below or the full horror short on either vimeo or youtube.

THIS THING:

IS LIKE THAT THING:

a. SJP in Sex & The City 2 banner ad

b. Magda from There’s Something About Mary

The tale of one man and his passion for smash’n (rotary phones, eggs, tacos, safety glass), and the woman who challenged it all.

Take How (Not) To Date Online from web to TV!

Vote 4 HnTDO on NexTV here nextventertainment.com/web/mini-competition/#

Search “Ashleigh” In your toolbar or scroll down to “How (Not) To Date Online.” Click Vote!

And stay Tuned! Webisode #4 coming next week!

Remember: Intern3t iz 4 <3rs

~Ash