“T3kn0l0gy makes me wanna dance now” is the motto of self-proclaimed “nerd girl & tech guru,” Tina T3k. A false internet prophet, Tina is my new alter ego that answers social media and technology related questions very poorly thru VYou on her Tumblog, TinaT3k.Tumblr. I created her as a caricature of two internet personality archetypes that annoy me to no end, mainly because of their recent explosion and lack of authenticity and inherent internet-affirmation neediness: the “nerd girl” that’s smart (=wear’s glasses, has an iphone) but also hot (=wears tight ironic, tech tee that accentuates boobs), 2. the “social media guru” that’s an expert on [insert social media network] simply because they say they are on aforementioned social media network, but really just retweets anything that falls out of Guy Kawasaki’s twitter-butt or steve jobs’ mock-turtlekneck.

Here is her official music video, “T3kn0l0gy Makes Me Wanna Dance Now,” for the VH1 Dance Cam Slam contest. Now vote for me here, I need to feel internet-special (because i am a hypocrite). Ask Tina questions and read her reviews of obsolete technology onTinaT3k.Tumblr

Caffeine Jesus is my dark journey into diet coke and 5 hour energy shot addiction as illustrated by stick figures. Famous Badgers is about Badgers in Famous works. Like this:

The world (my brain) is too full of dull badgers, dead badgers, Ullmen. Some badgers never even get into your house they are so busy howling at the windows. Or as Minna would say, you pick your badgers—and you do, whether you subscribe to that view or not, you really do. I can’t feel guilty about every last badger. Ullmen? Never met the badger. Just like Bailey. They were just badgers I never happened to meet. To the both of them and you I say: Put a badger in your shoe, and beat it. Make like a badger, and leave.
Motherless Badger, by Jonathan Lethem

This week Nelvia, Thomasina and Murla bring a new terrifying form of “crazy” to the internet dating-o-sphere. Checkout the two latest posts on How Not To Date Online [dot] com.

If Anna Wintour and Rachel Zoe made a baby and then Kate Gosselin’s old hair aspirated on said baby’s vomit – it would be Single #4, ‘ËaÚX.

Brought to you by my other blog, HowNotToDateOnline.com.

Hey and don’t forget, vote for me here NexTV
Search “Ashleigh” or scroll down to “How (Not) To Date Online.” Click Vote!

Do this and I will rename my cat after you, ALL of you.

Remember: Intern3t iz 4 <3rs

~ Ash

Latest advice from my tumblog Hometown Wisdom

A thorough analysis via hometownwisdom

All kinds of new treasures await, including panty sniffers, heart disease, oil spills, and cats in pants. Cry yourself to sleep. Intern3t is 4 <3rs.

excerpt:

Original post from How Not to Date Online

Neighborly Advice with an Un-BenFranklin twist and a side of nonsense.
Visit Here

How Not to Woo Your Potential Date Over IM

Cat is so mean to me. We get in fight. Exchange some hurtful remarks. Oh yeah, i show you how to deep moisturize your hands, also…

Online Dating starts with your profile pic: make sure your mom isn’t lurking in the background as you try to pose suavely for the camera… especially if you claim to live alone… Original Post via my blog How Not To Date Online

My friend Sheb describes the time he invented “Mustard Scotch” on a first date, in both an epic stroke of beverage genius and deal-breaking dating FAIL. This is his story.

Original post from HowNotToDateOnline.Com is here.

How (Not) 2 Video Date Online #3: Krissmas Cousins

for OMGimTurning30.com. Watch it now!

New Post! Click to Read! “Me and my chinchilla Ruth would like to go on a double date with a man and his pet chinchilla as well…”