Saturday, September 4th, 2010

This week Nelvia, Thomasina and Murla bring a new terrifying form of “crazy” to the internet dating-o-sphere. Checkout the two latest posts on How Not To Date Online [dot] com.
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If Anna Wintour and Rachel Zoe made a baby and then Kate Gosselin’s old hair aspirated on said baby’s vomit – it would be Single #4, ‘ËaÚX.

Brought to you by my other blog, HowNotToDateOnline.com.

Hey and don’t forget, vote for me here NexTV
Search “Ashleigh” or scroll down to “How (Not) To Date Online.” Click Vote!

Do this and I will rename my cat after you, ALL of you.

Remember: Intern3t iz 4 <3rs

~ Ash

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Latest advice from my tumblog Hometown Wisdom
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A thorough analysis via hometownwisdom
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

All kinds of new treasures await, including panty sniffers, heart disease, oil spills, and cats in pants. Cry yourself to sleep. Intern3t is 4 <3rs.

excerpt:

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Advice from a Father to a son: Change your name and pretend you never had aspirations. Become a disc jockey in your hometown and sleep with high school girls. Eat a lot of sausage and beer and accidentally start a couple of families you can’t support and get thrown in jail for student loan “evasion” and talk about how good you were in Hamlet to anyone who will listen and then have a motorscooter accident at 4am on I-94 just outside of Milwaukee by the Girl Scout Headquarters and live the rest of your life painting frogs in a mental hospital for the criminally insane and sell pictures of your fat hairy *ss on the internet while covering yourself in beans for 72 hours and calling it some sort of world record.<br />
Sheb Shebberson,  Sage, Baked Bean Submersion World Record Holder

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Original post from How Not to Date Online
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Monday, February 22, 2010

Neighborly Advice with an Un-BenFranklin twist and a side of nonsense.
Visit Here
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Thursday, February 18, 2010

How Not to Woo Your Potential Date Over IM
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Cat is so mean to me. We get in fight. Exchange some hurtful remarks. Oh yeah, i show you how to deep moisturize your hands, also…

Online Dating starts with your profile pic: make sure your mom isn’t lurking in the background as you try to pose suavely for the camera… especially if you claim to live alone… Original Post via my blog How Not To Date Online

My friend Sheb describes the time he invented “Mustard Scotch” on a first date, in both an epic stroke of beverage genius and deal-breaking dating FAIL. This is his story.

me:  I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT<br />
YOU PUT MUSTARD IN YOUR SCOTCH<br />
Sheb: i am the greatest hero in American history<br />
me: YOU DID THIS ON A DATE<br />
Sheb: of course<br />
me: A FIRST DATE<br />
Sheb: well, we were with other people<br />
me: did you do it earnestly and casually? or was it in haha self-inflicted pie-in-face manner?<br />
Sheb: fairly casually<br />
i think someone had to ask me what the hell i was doing<br />
me: Have you heard from this girl since?<br />
Sheb: not really</p>
<p>[Sheb & I have been friends for ten years. There isn't a boundary he hasn't sheb'd all over.]
Original post from HowNotToDateOnline.Com is here.


How (Not) 2 Video Date Online #3: Krissmas Cousins

Thursday, January 7, 2010

for OMGimTurning30.com. Watch it now!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010
How (Not) 2 Video Date Online #1: Sherilynn

New Post! Click to Read! “Me and my chinchilla Ruth would like to go on a double date with a man and his pet chinchilla as well…”

Sanity is is something to be lost.

New Post! Click to Read! “I am looking for men to come to my apartment and growl at me… There will be mini-quiche afterwards”