He’s just so, aw shucks, scrappy!
Hot-Dog WITH BOOBS….
green pee…
annoy’n indie film w/ teriible titling & WTF happened 2 Jeff Fahey
So this is my new ringtone…
Inhailable Red Bull. You heard it here first. I am a genius.
Holy gawd what le truck WHITE KETCHUP?
I know the last two places I reviewed served the water in one big bottle and I have problems with this that I’d like to expound upon so you may have a little insight as to why it bothers me. I have two main problems with this: the water bottle takes up real estate on the table and it shirks the responsibility of the waiter off to the customer.
My problem with the water bottle taking up real estate is relative to the size, shape of the bottle and to the size, shape of the table. On a small table, that bottle is taking up space that could be used for something else. On a bar, it just looks awkward. I know what you’re going to say, “But that’s how the French and Italians do it.” Yes, it is in some of their restaurants, but this is neither Paris nor Rome. Also, it’s not high quality water that I’ve specifically ordered that we’re talking about here; it’s regular cold tap water put into a clear bottle.
My problem with the shirking of responsibility is a bit of bigger deal than the real estate issue. Your job as a waiter/waitress/bartender is to serve me, the customer. When a water bottle is placed on the table/bar it says to me, “I can’t be bothered to watch over your beverages like I’m supposed to do so why don’t you take care of it yourself.” Beverage service is a large part of the job. I shouldn’t have to stop my meal at any moment do anything other than talk, drink, and cut my food. Now, what happens if I run out of the water that was stored in the water bottle? You don’t notice, because you haven’t been paying attention to my beverage needs. Imagine walking into court after paying for a lawyer and the lawyer just slaps a stack of papers down on the table, then sits down in his chair for the remainder of the case while he says you have to defend yourself with the papers he’s prepared; you’d be livid, or probably beyond livid; I feel the same way about the water bottle. What if I’m drunk or just clumsy and I knock over the bottle? You, the waiter, have to come over and clean it up, I feel embarrassed, and we’ve both waste more time that could be spent doing something more enjoyable.
It’s just not worth it. Give me a glass of water, refill it when it looks low, and be a good waiter/waitress/bartender and I’ll tip you well. That’s all there is to it and it’s not hard.
@carllite n me r 2scared 2 tag anywhere but paper
Forgot sox, had 2 buy these at pharmacy so cud gym 2day: embarassing
My fingerz iz stuk n teh ratz nest
The sequel to”Fist: a Tragedy”
“i think i’ve reached the point in my life where its time 2 live alone”
“The smell of the Hudson always makes me think “is that a dead body?””
– @carllite
Sheb: every
thing
came
back
NORMAL
(blood tests)
no sherpes
me: jeezus sheb
u are the king of hypochondria
Sheb: i AM
me: le munchausen-royale
Sheb: munch on this housing
me: el mondo sicko
Sheb: i gave myself polka dot cock
God really did a number on me
me: this is number two after the time i spent 6 hours in the emergency room from acid reflux that i thought was a heart attack
Sheb: hahahaha
yeah, that’s pretty incredible
anyways, i’m wrapping this thing in mesh steel from now on
me: you should put it in a shark cage
Sheb: i should put it in a bear trap
wait…
“ForbiddenPlanet sounds like a strip club but it’s a comic book store; additionally, they have the same requirements 4 employment: be female”
– @carllite
[ FROM BLACKBERRY MESSENGER]
Benjy: What up what up
Ashleigh: In chicago
Benjy: Dope
Benjy: Let’s together when you get back
………………………………
Benjy: What’s the deal
Ashleigh: What deal?
Ashleigh: um I’m walking 10 mi along beach…?
………………………………
Benjy: What’s good?
Ashleigh: huh?
Ashleigh: pizza is good, so is swimming (but not after eating pizza, that’s no good)
………………………………
Benjy: What’s good with you?
Ashleigh: Um everything…
……………………………..
.
[ FROM GCHAT]
@bryant237: what is good
me: what are you a rapper now?
………………………………
@carllite: ahah check out this site: www.lets-panic.com
me: if this were true i’d have been pregnant for the last 20 years, 20 year old fetus in my pint-sized womb
woah wait, i love this site.
sometimes i think i’m pregnant eventho i haven’t gone ‘biblical’ for many revolutions ’round the sun
i call it “irrational latent pregnancy fear”
once i missed my “lady-time” for a year but had not “known anyone” in like several years, so I was convinced i was pregnant.
turns out i had just been like 7 pounds underweight.
…no stillborn petrified fetus in this womb (which happened once on like law & order or XFiles or something)
“hypochondria!!!!: the fertility issue” available at your local newstand August 21st!
@carllite: hahahaha
Narcissus, mesmerized by the exquisitely chiseled contours of his own jaw, sat transfixed for days, gazing upon his live webcam-captured visage as reflected by the computer screen, waving to himself in jubilant celebration of his sublime comeliness. And so he starved to death.
ahaha why did this make me laugh so hard??
like he couldn’t figure out to even look AT THE WEBCAM. oblivious or attempt at a self-shot candid-shot?
