Eat More Paint was a short-lived blog, once featured on Perez Hilton & Gallery of the Absurd, where i posted re-imaginings of famous masterpieces featuring celebrities. Blah Blah Blah social commentary.. blah blah.. satire... Whatever. It ended when i lost 4 works in progress to a laptop meltdown. Photoshop & Painter IV + Wacom Tablet Da Vinci may be rolling in his grave over my sullied version of his "Lady with an Ermine", but it's more likely Paris' new ferret goat ratdog weasel candidate-for-puppy-prozac is probably planning his demise (see Nicole Richie's cat). It's a grim fate for an animal, less preferable than dedicating itself to taxodermy. Despite Paris' God-given gift for misplacing pets, this pug may sleep easily at night knowing that if he should meet his end in a locked Benz parked in the sun for 8 hours on a hot summer day, he has a shot at being buried next to James Dean (Marilyn Monroe was already taken). I only pray this lil pug wiser than the rabid-devil-monkey, and goes for her jugular before he expires. Lady with an Ermine defiled with Photoshop CS and Painter 9 *on a side note, somewhere in the Hilton crib a dead kitten is face-down in its water dish, and Paris is pretty sure it's just sleeping. **Okay I feel bad about that jugular comment, mostly because my mom just yelled at me for posting 'mean things' on the internet because 'they will come back to haunt' me (I should be so lucky). But seriously now, you have to admit you love her somewhere in the darkest depths of your soul... Honestly, her persona has occupied more hours of entertainment than can be possibly counted--and just how empty would life be sans-the-daily-article on some latest debacle? So it goes, the love-hate-fascination inspired as much by horror as by vicarious-longings one wouldn't dare own up to. As terrifying as that thought is...